I am working with my guides (or my beautiful Spirit Troupe as I like to call them) on channeling a series of articles that aim to inspire not only an honest self study but a close look at the people we choose to surround ourselves with. The purpose is a brave one and it is to shine a light on a very broad spectrum personality disorder called Narcissism. The focus of this article is specifically how narcissism relates to being an Empath.

I want to offer you ways to identify these traits in your own behavior and/or the behavior of someone close to you, how to successfully protect yourself from unwanted narcissistic behaviors, and a general awareness so that we can integrate this aspect of healing into our daily lives with the hope of making a positive change in ourselves and inspiring that change in others.

We talk about Empathic characteristics and share our stories of being “sensitive to energy” all the time, but Narcissism is something that isn’t talked about very much. In general, the word is kind of ugly. Is it fair to say that no one wants to be called out as one? Is it also fair to say that nobody wants to be preyed on by one? Let’s make a change. A positive one.

I am encountering characteristics of this personality disorder in our society more and more as I become aware of how my own experience with a full-spectrum narcissistic mother has affected my life and my relationships. I will share my personal journey of discovery along the way as I make my way through this topic with you over the next few months.

For those of us committed to spreading love and light and healing others and ourselves and our planet I believe we must shine a light on this and take personal responsibility for our actions and how we behave towards others. This involves a certain level of self honesty and a great bit of introspection. Making a commitment to coming from a place of love in all that we do is the ultimate goal.

I want to share what I’m learning so that anyone, including Narcissists and Empaths, can understand the dynamics that are associated with this behavior and how you can help heal wounds, learn to identify these traits, how to protect yourself from being potentially abused by a narcissist, and also to help us recognize these characteristics in ourselves and where we may fall on the spectrum so that we can heal from all angles and offer a better version of ourselves to our community and the world the at large.

So what exactly is narcissism?

Narcissism is simply an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.

Narcissistic personality disorder, also known as NPD, is a personality disorder in which the individual has a distorted self image, unstable and intense emotions, is overly preoccupied with vanity, prestige, power and personal adequacy, lacks Empathy, and has an exaggerated sense of superiority. NPD is closely associated with egocentrism – a personality characteristic in which people see themselves and their interests and opinions as the only ones that really matter.

What is an Empath?

An Empathic person has the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. Empathy is the ability to actually feel what another person feels, whether emotional or physical. This is different than sympathy. Sympathy is the feeling of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. It’s common for those who experience high levels of Empathy to find themselves in relationships with narcissists who either take advantage of or prey on what they perceive to be a weaker group.

If an Empath is not consciously aware of boundaries and does not understand how to protect themselves, they will very easily and very quickly bond with the narcissist in order to try to fix and repair any damage and attempt to eradicate all their pain.

The narcissist is most often a taker. An energy vampire, so to speak. The narcissist’s agenda is usually one of manipulation. The Empath’s agenda is usually one of love, healing and caring.  The more love and care an Empath offers, the more powerful and in control a narcissist tends to become.

Any attempt to communicate authentically with the narcissist will be most likely be futile as they are extremely charismatic and manipulative and have a powerful way of turning everything away from themselves and onto others.

I believe it is critical that an Empath not let their self-worth be determined by a narcissist. I would advise the Empath in this situation to work to trust and believe in themselves enough to recognize that they are ever deserving of love, respect, kindness and compassion and to live their truth in peace. How do you value yourself?  Self Confidence Worksheet.

General Narcissistic Traits | Courtesy of DaughtersOfNarcissisticMothers.com

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of Empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks Empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Helpful Links About NPD and Empaths

Narcissists and Empaths: The Ego Dynamic

The Highly Sensitive Person and the Narcissist

Why Highly Sensitive People Attract Narcissists + How To Disengage

Why Must Empaths Do More Than Spot Narcissists?

The Empath and the Narcissist

Meditations and Affirmations for Healing

 Helpful Books About NPD

Follow this link to a selection of recommended books about NPD, and books to help your recovery from its abuse at DaughtersOfNarcissisticMothers.com.

Among many, here are some modalities for help with healing from narcissistic trauma or managing Empathy effectively:

• Meditation and Affirmations
• EFT
• Crystal Healing
• Intuitive Healing and Counseling
• Counseling/Psychotherapy
• Energy Work
• Reiki
• Yoga
• Hypnotherapy
• Biofeedback
• Essential Oils
• Journaling
• Grounding and Protecting

Helpful Tips:

• Learn grounding techniques and self-soothing methods
• Allow yourself to grieve and be angry if necessary
• Seek professional help if you believe you may suffer from any form of psychological neurosis, such as complicated grief, anxiety, depression, lack of self worth, or PTSD